I think the only reason I still use Yahoo for anything is that in the back of my tiny, tiny little brain, I secretly worry that if someone doesn’t compete with Google, Google will become Big Brother, take over the world and impose totalitarian sexual rituals requiring a 4 minute soft boiled egg and a modicum of chocolate syrup… which doesn’t actually sound that bad once you say it out loud…

I digress… It seems that Yahoo will not rest until they suck better than their competition. Case in point; email. Now, it’s been quite a long time since I used Yahoo email for anything other that a junk mail catcher. But since they “upgraded” their email with all sorts of new “features”, I can’t even stand to log in. I mean how bad is that… I won’t even use their email to catch spam! And thanks to DodgeIt, I don’t need to.

Yahoo has lost my business for almost everything. They lost me for search the second Google was born. Maps, news, movies, groups, classifieds… all of these are done better by someone else (mostly Google) or are so ad-ridden and/or just plain lame, that I can’t stand to use them. The one thing I have always used them for has been TV listings. Today, as I looked up the listing for the Bears game, they lost me for that too… which then caused me to want to rant about it… which of course I am currently. Coitus? They changed their TV listings. Don’t worry though, you can still easily find any show that has left a few meager coins on their nightstand… but there is no longer a way to search the listings for a show that you might actually want to watch. No really. I COULDN’T FIND THE BEARS GAME! Bravo Yahoo… bravo. Using Google, I quickly found a rather nice TV listing site called MeeVee and I now have one less Yahoo bookmark.

So… you’d think Yahoo could find a way to suck less. I mean with the future of government-subsidized sodomic egg rituals looming, is it too much to ask that they stop hurting us with their whorish stupidity? Is it possible that they don’t know the term “heads up your asses” is not literal and will not prevent additional items from being inserted in that region? Keep up the good work Yahoo… I’ve only got one of your bookmarks left… and I could use the space.

Update: looks like I’m not alone in my displeasure with Yahoo

This morning, I suggested a friend perform a little photojournalism. Since I'm an equal opportunist, I decided to photograph my usual walk to the store. Now I've walked this path hundreds of times but this time taught me something interesting... It's damn peculiar what will present itself when you cary a camera.

Long ago, my friend Dara showed me her series of pictures of single (not pairs mind you) abandoned shoes. I always liked those photos and since seeing them, I've discovered that single abandoned shoes are not as uncommon as one might think. It makes me wonder if I'll ever have a repeat of today's find... and yes, that is actual poop.

This will only be funny to my immediate family... Now THAT'S an "Oooh Babe".

Perhaps it takes that shining beacon of truth, that we call comedy, to cast it's omnipotent light into the dark, dank nether regions of our current administration, before it's sheep-like followers might dare conjure even a hint of doubt and take an honest glance inward. With that in mind, I give you... the Bush Administration in CliffsNotes form.

While I disagree to San Francisco being “the greatest city in the world” (or even in California for that mater), I will admit it looks pretty sweet in Jello…

Some local notes about SF… folks here hate it when you call it “Frisco”… so naturally I always do. And in the Valley, Silicon Valley (Junction… Peticoat Junction), when they say “the city” they mean SF, leaving “downtown” to mean San Jose. And yes, I know the way to it.

Uh… this is pretty much self explanitory…

Click image to play

QuickTime required.

Being an innocent bystander and getting accidentally caught during someone else’s 15 minutes of fame, is kinda funny. It’s funnier still when that 15 minutes gets stretched for another minute and a half 10 years later. Luckily, I’m still just as hot now as I was then… here and in Canada. I am everywhere!

I hope the thieves eat it… while standing very near a hospital.

Apple’s iPod and iTunes Music Store are the kings of the hill and as such, their critics, competitors and even partners regularly take feeble swings at them both.

For example, in an apparent attempt to mitigate any dissimilarities between the writing quality of mainstream journalists and that of your average teenage blogger, a recent BusinessWeek “article” quoted Chris Gorog, CEO of Napster Inc. and disingenuous corporate whore as saying:

“The villain in the story is the iPod,” “You have this device consumers love, but they’re being restricted from buying anything other than downloads from Apple. People are bored with that.”

Yes Chris, people have been bored with that over 300 billion times. Swing and a miss!

Those sounds you’ve been hearing are emanating from the waters under the Golden Gate Bridge and the Ganges River in India. They are the sounds of Jerry Garcia’s laughter and of his ashes turning in the waters.

The laughter would be over the selling off of his toilet for charity. This is comedy to be sure but also very likely to be beneficial to others. But wouldn’t even the honored dead–grateful or otherwise–sicken at the thought of his surviving band-mates overturning the band’s long-standing music sharing ideology for the mere possibility of monitory gain?

Follow the story over at the Internet Archive…

Google is testing out a new service they’re calling Click-to-Call which offers the following:

“…gives you a free and fast way to speak directly to the advertiser you found on a Google search results page – over the phone.

Here’s how it works: When you click the phone icon, you can enter your phone number. Once you click ‘Connect For Free,’ Google calls the number you provided. When you pick up, you hear ringing on the other end as Google connects you to the other party.”

Folks on Slashdot seemed really excited about this but… uh… I didn’t get it. This seemed like a really stupid idea to me… but I like to be thorough so I followed a few links, hoping to discover a side to this that made it… well… less stupid. Nope, this is just stupid… but the creepy thing was, everyone else seemed really excited about this too.

Now don’t get me wrong–lots and lots of great things began life as a stupid idea. I applaud smart people pushing technologies without obvious usefulness. Technology needs these trailblazers. But I do intend to mock those who seem to think this has the stench of genius–most of which are either in marketing or overeager bloggers desperate to break a story.

Excellent work y’all! No, really… top notch.

Sorry about the headline but since fear tactics work so well on the majority of you, I’ve decided to employ them for the common good. You MUST stop using Internet Explorer! It is insecure, inaccessible and, incontinent. If you are not already using Firefox or Safari or some other browser, please download one of these immediately and show those terrorist bastards that you value a little thing called liberty and stuff! I beg of you… I beseech thee… please with sugar on top… I’ll be your best friend.